Angie
Part 3
By Mr. K aka ‘delphinic’
Angie and I were inseparable over the next few weeks. We would meet by the rock peninsula every morning. Sometimes she’d be there, hiding and waiting to surprise me, or I would be there first, lazily watching the undulating waves wash over the land, and she would swim up and nudge my hand. After some time, I began to understand Angie’s ‘language’. If she nudged my hand, she wanted petted. If she bit my hand (gently), then she wanted me in the water. I would wear swimmers and a shirt just in case she wanted me to be in the water with her, but if I didn’t have those on; she understood and didn’t ask me in that day. She would rub me with her beak as a sign of affection, and I would give her belly rubs if she turned over.
The contradicting side of my brain was dying as I began to give into my love for Angie. Of course, I would only kiss and hold her. It started out casual, and then grew more affectionate. She was as lonely as me, so she always would hold or kiss back. In fact, she would usually hold or kiss me first. If we ever wanted to be close, we would head up to the beach and I would wade into the shallows. She was patient and never forced me to do anything, yet firm and would let me know if she didn’t want me doing something she didn’t like, (like not petting her when she rolled over, which she responded to by a quick squeal).
Angie was also very comical. She had a somewhat sarcastic sense of humor, mimicking my actions occasionally. Yet she never did it in a mocking or mean way. Sometimes, she would even toss things at me, playfully. She would throw small fish, rocks, and even things she stole from tourists (and it didn’t make me look good when I was found with them. Luckily, she stopped this). I would toss it back, and she would grab it with her teeth. Then, in a snapping motion, she’d whip her head and send it flying back to me. Other times, she’d flick her tail. These games would go on for a few minutes, with me laughing and Angie making the parody laughing noise.
“Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh!”
After about five days after meeting her, I could understand almost what she was trying to convey to me. By changing pitches, she nearly sounded like she was talking. Angie, though, communicated more with actions and touch. She knew that language best.
When I wasn’t around Angie, people could see me sitting gloomily at the Marina watching tourists’ splash in the murky water. Other times I could be seen going to assigned places where I had give a presentation, but everyone who saw me noticed my glum expression and too casual speech. I overheard an old woman whisper to her girlfriend in a sarcastic way, “He’s just a rich kid. Why would he be happy around simple folk like us?”
I was unhappy to be around them, true, but not because they were ‘simple folk’. I missed being around Angie. She had more personality than the people on the island. I had grown accustomed to her being around, and I felt lonely whenever she wasn’t. Before her, I have never really had any companions or real friends.
Of course, I could have seen Angie anytime throughout the day, but I didn’t want to attract attention. The area we were near was a prime fishing spot, and if the anglers saw me messing with a dolphin, breaking the ‘no interaction’ rule on the island, that would look bad on my side. So I always went to see Angie early in the morning. After a while, Angie only started showing up at the rock peninsula, usually feeding during the night or the rest of the day. For Angie and me, nothing could go wrong
but one day, something did go wrong.
I was early that morning, by about ten minutes. The other pod (no acquaintance to Angie, obviously) of dolphins were playing around a few miles out, seeming as tiny black figures jumping around on the great stretch of blue water. I had lost interest in this pod long ago; especially after I had asked Angie if that was her old pod. She seemed to nod and let out a sort of sighing noise.
Nevertheless, I watched the open water, expecting maybe to see a whale or perhaps a shark.
Angie wasn’t showing up, which was normal for me. This wouldn’t be the first time she kept me waiting or decided not to show. I waited patiently, excited about what we might do that day.
Nearly half an hour passed, and I was getting a little drowsy. I decided to sprawl out on the rocks and take a short nap. Angie would wake me up when she got here, and I didn’t have to be anywhere until noon.
I was near deep sleep when Angie finally showed up. To wake me up, she splashed some water on my shirtless back. I slowly raised my eyelids until I could just see her outline. I decided maybe to play a trick. I kept my eyes slightly open, just so I could see her but she couldn’t see I was awake. She was sitting with her head out of the water and was eyeing me patiently. She knew I was a heavy sleeper.
But I didn’t rise. Her patience died down and she splashed me again, sounding slightly annoyed. She beeped me with her sonar and saw that I was somewhat awake, but was confused to why I didn’t arise. She sucked in water with her blowhole and shot a short jet of water at me, something that she had done many times before. I still kept in my spot, ignoring the chilly water on my backside. The dolphin cocked her head and tried again. I still sat there. She let out a loud squeal, but I ignored the sound. It was getting hard to suppress my laughs. Finally, her eyes got curious and wider. She swam up and gently nibbled my fingers, cooing inquisitively. She backed off and looked up. By now, her eyes were wide with a mix of confusion, annoyance, and curiosity.
I couldn’t take it any more. I snapped my eyes open and lunged close to her.
“Boo!”
Angie, seeing I was awake, feigned a surprise, by sitting upwards and waving both of her flippers. She squealed, and then fell back to the horizontal position, chattering in amusement. I should have been laughing, but something was different today.
Angie was a lot more skittish than normal, and when she had risen up in her mock surprise, I noticed her underside was flushed in bright pink.
She swam up and roughly nudged my hand, awaking me from my thoughts.
‘That doesn’t mean anything‘, I told myself, and ‘maybe she had met another male dolphin on the way. That would explain why she was late. They must have mated and she’s still in an afterglow. That’s usual for dolphins.’
Angie continued to nudge my hand rapidly.
“Angie, if you wanted pet so badly, you could’ve asked,” I said, beginning to smile. She was quite excited today! This seemed to stop her and she rolled over, exposing her still pink belly.
I also noticed that her vaginal slit was swollen. I told myself once again that she was still in an afterglow and she’d be out soon. I still reached out and stroked her belly. It felt warmer than usual, almost like how a runner feels after they run a few laps in cold weather.
I sat there, lazily moving my hand back and forth, switching from my fingernails and fingertips, and occasionally my knuckles. Angie’s belly was still warm, but it wasn’t as bad. I could hear her squeak and whir in contentment, while her muscles tightened and relaxed as I moved my hand over her underside. My eyes closed I began to breathe slower, my hands still rubbing her in their unconscious routine.
Suddenly, her smooth skin disappeared, replaced by a swollen patch of tough skin. It felt hot to the touch. I opened my eyes and saw that my hand was rubbing the top of her vaginal slit, near her bulging clit.
I let out a startled gasp removed my hands. She looked up at me with wide eyes, curious at why I had stopped.
“I’m sorry, Angie, I didn’t mean to touch you, err, down there.”
I sat up and looked at my hand. It felt dirty, spoiled and sour. I looked back at Angie, sitting there with her belly now a dark pink, and I felt like I needed to get away from her.
“I’m sorry. It was a mistake.”
I was clueless then. Half of me was shouting the truth; the other was clouding me with denial.
I didn’t leave Angie. Instead, I decided to experiment. Maybe Angie made a mistake and the feeling blocked her thoughts. I began to rub her again, slower, far away from her vaginal area. I kept my eyes on her this time.
Things calmed down after a minute or so and I was satisfied. I got back into the dreamy state again and was nearly asleep.
I figured she was just getting comfortable when she started moving her flippers back and forth, moving her body to where my hand was rubbing. Or, where she wanted to be rubbed. However, I couldn’t get over my suspicion and looked down at her. Sure enough, Angie was scooting her body upwards, moving my hand down her body. She stopped when my hand was near her slit again, and I watched in surprise as she starting thrusting her tail. It all became clear. Angie wanted to have SEX with ME!
I pulled my hand away once again, and didn’t say a word. I just stood up and left. Angie started following me, clicking loudly. I turned back and saw her wide hurt eyes. I smiled, even though it didn’t feel right. I bent down and kissed her, while rubbing beneath her rostrum. This was a sign that I wasn’t angry, especially not at her, and she gave a sort of grin. She turned and flashed her scar, still pink, and was off. It was true, though, I wasn’t angry with her.
But I was thinking of her in a completely different light.
Angie, this wild dolphin I had saved from drowning, that had allowed contact with me, whom I had gotten to know and love over a multiple week period, wanted to have sex with me. We trusted each other, and I loved her more than anything, but I never thought of sex with her. She was an animal and I was a human. It just wasn’t right.
But was it really?
I was thinking of her all day, but I avoided the picture of her pussy working itself against my fingers. I could only think of the shock this had come to me. I had never thought of dolphins wanting to mate with humans. I was deeply confused and needed answers.
I had to see her.
I left my house the next morning, wearing jogging gear, since I didn’t expect I’d be in the water. The sea breeze rustled my hair, but I merely put up my hood, flushing out its cool smell and gentle push. I suspected that my dolphin friend would be waiting eagerly for me, most likely ready to intercourse.
Sure enough, Angie was waiting for me there.
She let out a squeak and swam up, grinning at me with an open mouth. Usually this would make me happy, but yesterday’s events clouded my emotions.
“Hello Angie.” I said politely, as she looked up at me. “You’re here early.”
“Aeeeeooo” she replied.
I looked away. She seemed happy, but I sure wasn’t. I didn’t want to have to talk to her like I was about to. She was smarter than to have to listen to a lecture. I counted to ten, hoping that Angie would still be there. I looked back at her. She cocked her head, wondering why I was acting strangely. I cleared my throat and squatted down, face to face with the dolphin.
“Look, Angie, about yesterday,” I slowly spoke, making sure she understood, “I love you, but I don’t think I’m ready to have THAT sort of bond with you.”
Angie was confused. Sex wasn’t a bond, it was a natural thing, that no one should be against or ashamed of. Since she didn’t understand, she dismissed the idea, taking it as another factor of my odd behavior. The dolphin nudged my hand quickly and rolled over, and I saw her bright pink underside with matching swollen pussy lips and clit. Not again, girl, please.
“I said I don’t, Angie.” I said, a bit firmer, “Please don’t make this any harder. I don’t feel right talking to you this way.”
She ignored me and nudged my hand again.
“Angie, are you listening?”
She arched her back, clearly showing she was ready for me to begin.
“Angie, come on, I don’t want to-”
She cut me off with a few clicks.
“Please, Angie, listen to me. I can’t have that relationship with you. Not yet, at least.”
This sounds like I was pleading, but I was more ordering, my patience running low.
She let out a squeak, coaxing me.
“Angie,” I said firmly. My anger was bubbling in my blood, and I was losing my control.
She nudged my hand once again. That sent me over.
“ANGIE!” I exploded.
She flipped over and stared at me. It wasn’t my nature to be angry like that. Instead of calming down, I let my entire stress jump out at her.
“I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS WITH YOU! IT ISNT EVEN RIGHT FOR ME TO BE AROUND YOU IF YOU’RE JUST GOING TO IGNORE WHAT I SAY AND TRY TO USE ME FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL LUST!”
Angie backed away, eyes wide. I wasn’t done yet.
“NOW, AM I GOING TO HAVE TO SAY THAT AGAIN, OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO BEAT IT INTO YOU, YOU STUPID FISH!?!”
I rose up my hand as if ready to hit, and Angie ‘flinched‘. My eyes were wide in shock, surprised at my outburst. I looked up at my raised arm, and down at Angie, who was staring back at me with big, black, hurt eyes. She let out a frightened squeal and backed up more.
Still slightly angry, with Angie and myself, I lowered my hand. I spoke to the poor dolphin as calmly as I could, with a tint of anger and firmness still in my voice.
“Angie…”
She let out another frightened squeal and turned. My rage quickly turned into desperation and remorse.
“Angie!” I cried after her. Her dark figure sunk below the waves and out of sight. I reached out my hand, as if trying to coax her back.
“Angie! Come back! I’m sorry, girl! Please! Come back!”
But Angie was gone, now just a dark figure in the ocean.
I sat back and curled into a ball on the rocks.
I didn’t cry, though I thought I should have. I hated myself more than ever. It wasn’t Angie’s fault; she was just going by instinct. It was my entire fault, for not understanding her ways, and for losing my temper and ready to harm her.
But I would never have hurt Angie! I loved her more than the island itself! How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking? These thoughts raced through my head as I sobbed dryly. The cool sea breeze rustled my dark brown hair again, but I ignored it.
I looked up and saw that the pod of dolphins had also left. Now it was just an empty ocean and me. Without Angie.
I got to my feet and turned away from the water. Slowly, I moved back toward my house. The employees would expect to see me in an hour, but I decided to let them wait.
Angie, sad and hurt, was somewhere in the ocean right now. I wanted to be far away from it.
Part 3
By Mr. K aka ‘delphinic’
Angie and I were inseparable over the next few weeks. We would meet by the rock peninsula every morning. Sometimes she’d be there, hiding and waiting to surprise me, or I would be there first, lazily watching the undulating waves wash over the land, and she would swim up and nudge my hand. After some time, I began to understand Angie’s ‘language’. If she nudged my hand, she wanted petted. If she bit my hand (gently), then she wanted me in the water. I would wear swimmers and a shirt just in case she wanted me to be in the water with her, but if I didn’t have those on; she understood and didn’t ask me in that day. She would rub me with her beak as a sign of affection, and I would give her belly rubs if she turned over.
The contradicting side of my brain was dying as I began to give into my love for Angie. Of course, I would only kiss and hold her. It started out casual, and then grew more affectionate. She was as lonely as me, so she always would hold or kiss back. In fact, she would usually hold or kiss me first. If we ever wanted to be close, we would head up to the beach and I would wade into the shallows. She was patient and never forced me to do anything, yet firm and would let me know if she didn’t want me doing something she didn’t like, (like not petting her when she rolled over, which she responded to by a quick squeal).
Angie was also very comical. She had a somewhat sarcastic sense of humor, mimicking my actions occasionally. Yet she never did it in a mocking or mean way. Sometimes, she would even toss things at me, playfully. She would throw small fish, rocks, and even things she stole from tourists (and it didn’t make me look good when I was found with them. Luckily, she stopped this). I would toss it back, and she would grab it with her teeth. Then, in a snapping motion, she’d whip her head and send it flying back to me. Other times, she’d flick her tail. These games would go on for a few minutes, with me laughing and Angie making the parody laughing noise.
“Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh!”
After about five days after meeting her, I could understand almost what she was trying to convey to me. By changing pitches, she nearly sounded like she was talking. Angie, though, communicated more with actions and touch. She knew that language best.
When I wasn’t around Angie, people could see me sitting gloomily at the Marina watching tourists’ splash in the murky water. Other times I could be seen going to assigned places where I had give a presentation, but everyone who saw me noticed my glum expression and too casual speech. I overheard an old woman whisper to her girlfriend in a sarcastic way, “He’s just a rich kid. Why would he be happy around simple folk like us?”
I was unhappy to be around them, true, but not because they were ‘simple folk’. I missed being around Angie. She had more personality than the people on the island. I had grown accustomed to her being around, and I felt lonely whenever she wasn’t. Before her, I have never really had any companions or real friends.
Of course, I could have seen Angie anytime throughout the day, but I didn’t want to attract attention. The area we were near was a prime fishing spot, and if the anglers saw me messing with a dolphin, breaking the ‘no interaction’ rule on the island, that would look bad on my side. So I always went to see Angie early in the morning. After a while, Angie only started showing up at the rock peninsula, usually feeding during the night or the rest of the day. For Angie and me, nothing could go wrong
but one day, something did go wrong.
I was early that morning, by about ten minutes. The other pod (no acquaintance to Angie, obviously) of dolphins were playing around a few miles out, seeming as tiny black figures jumping around on the great stretch of blue water. I had lost interest in this pod long ago; especially after I had asked Angie if that was her old pod. She seemed to nod and let out a sort of sighing noise.
Nevertheless, I watched the open water, expecting maybe to see a whale or perhaps a shark.
Angie wasn’t showing up, which was normal for me. This wouldn’t be the first time she kept me waiting or decided not to show. I waited patiently, excited about what we might do that day.
Nearly half an hour passed, and I was getting a little drowsy. I decided to sprawl out on the rocks and take a short nap. Angie would wake me up when she got here, and I didn’t have to be anywhere until noon.
I was near deep sleep when Angie finally showed up. To wake me up, she splashed some water on my shirtless back. I slowly raised my eyelids until I could just see her outline. I decided maybe to play a trick. I kept my eyes slightly open, just so I could see her but she couldn’t see I was awake. She was sitting with her head out of the water and was eyeing me patiently. She knew I was a heavy sleeper.
But I didn’t rise. Her patience died down and she splashed me again, sounding slightly annoyed. She beeped me with her sonar and saw that I was somewhat awake, but was confused to why I didn’t arise. She sucked in water with her blowhole and shot a short jet of water at me, something that she had done many times before. I still kept in my spot, ignoring the chilly water on my backside. The dolphin cocked her head and tried again. I still sat there. She let out a loud squeal, but I ignored the sound. It was getting hard to suppress my laughs. Finally, her eyes got curious and wider. She swam up and gently nibbled my fingers, cooing inquisitively. She backed off and looked up. By now, her eyes were wide with a mix of confusion, annoyance, and curiosity.
I couldn’t take it any more. I snapped my eyes open and lunged close to her.
“Boo!”
Angie, seeing I was awake, feigned a surprise, by sitting upwards and waving both of her flippers. She squealed, and then fell back to the horizontal position, chattering in amusement. I should have been laughing, but something was different today.
Angie was a lot more skittish than normal, and when she had risen up in her mock surprise, I noticed her underside was flushed in bright pink.
She swam up and roughly nudged my hand, awaking me from my thoughts.
‘That doesn’t mean anything‘, I told myself, and ‘maybe she had met another male dolphin on the way. That would explain why she was late. They must have mated and she’s still in an afterglow. That’s usual for dolphins.’
Angie continued to nudge my hand rapidly.
“Angie, if you wanted pet so badly, you could’ve asked,” I said, beginning to smile. She was quite excited today! This seemed to stop her and she rolled over, exposing her still pink belly.
I also noticed that her vaginal slit was swollen. I told myself once again that she was still in an afterglow and she’d be out soon. I still reached out and stroked her belly. It felt warmer than usual, almost like how a runner feels after they run a few laps in cold weather.
I sat there, lazily moving my hand back and forth, switching from my fingernails and fingertips, and occasionally my knuckles. Angie’s belly was still warm, but it wasn’t as bad. I could hear her squeak and whir in contentment, while her muscles tightened and relaxed as I moved my hand over her underside. My eyes closed I began to breathe slower, my hands still rubbing her in their unconscious routine.
Suddenly, her smooth skin disappeared, replaced by a swollen patch of tough skin. It felt hot to the touch. I opened my eyes and saw that my hand was rubbing the top of her vaginal slit, near her bulging clit.
I let out a startled gasp removed my hands. She looked up at me with wide eyes, curious at why I had stopped.
“I’m sorry, Angie, I didn’t mean to touch you, err, down there.”
I sat up and looked at my hand. It felt dirty, spoiled and sour. I looked back at Angie, sitting there with her belly now a dark pink, and I felt like I needed to get away from her.
“I’m sorry. It was a mistake.”
I was clueless then. Half of me was shouting the truth; the other was clouding me with denial.
I didn’t leave Angie. Instead, I decided to experiment. Maybe Angie made a mistake and the feeling blocked her thoughts. I began to rub her again, slower, far away from her vaginal area. I kept my eyes on her this time.
Things calmed down after a minute or so and I was satisfied. I got back into the dreamy state again and was nearly asleep.
I figured she was just getting comfortable when she started moving her flippers back and forth, moving her body to where my hand was rubbing. Or, where she wanted to be rubbed. However, I couldn’t get over my suspicion and looked down at her. Sure enough, Angie was scooting her body upwards, moving my hand down her body. She stopped when my hand was near her slit again, and I watched in surprise as she starting thrusting her tail. It all became clear. Angie wanted to have SEX with ME!
I pulled my hand away once again, and didn’t say a word. I just stood up and left. Angie started following me, clicking loudly. I turned back and saw her wide hurt eyes. I smiled, even though it didn’t feel right. I bent down and kissed her, while rubbing beneath her rostrum. This was a sign that I wasn’t angry, especially not at her, and she gave a sort of grin. She turned and flashed her scar, still pink, and was off. It was true, though, I wasn’t angry with her.
But I was thinking of her in a completely different light.
Angie, this wild dolphin I had saved from drowning, that had allowed contact with me, whom I had gotten to know and love over a multiple week period, wanted to have sex with me. We trusted each other, and I loved her more than anything, but I never thought of sex with her. She was an animal and I was a human. It just wasn’t right.
But was it really?
I was thinking of her all day, but I avoided the picture of her pussy working itself against my fingers. I could only think of the shock this had come to me. I had never thought of dolphins wanting to mate with humans. I was deeply confused and needed answers.
I had to see her.
I left my house the next morning, wearing jogging gear, since I didn’t expect I’d be in the water. The sea breeze rustled my hair, but I merely put up my hood, flushing out its cool smell and gentle push. I suspected that my dolphin friend would be waiting eagerly for me, most likely ready to intercourse.
Sure enough, Angie was waiting for me there.
She let out a squeak and swam up, grinning at me with an open mouth. Usually this would make me happy, but yesterday’s events clouded my emotions.
“Hello Angie.” I said politely, as she looked up at me. “You’re here early.”
“Aeeeeooo” she replied.
I looked away. She seemed happy, but I sure wasn’t. I didn’t want to have to talk to her like I was about to. She was smarter than to have to listen to a lecture. I counted to ten, hoping that Angie would still be there. I looked back at her. She cocked her head, wondering why I was acting strangely. I cleared my throat and squatted down, face to face with the dolphin.
“Look, Angie, about yesterday,” I slowly spoke, making sure she understood, “I love you, but I don’t think I’m ready to have THAT sort of bond with you.”
Angie was confused. Sex wasn’t a bond, it was a natural thing, that no one should be against or ashamed of. Since she didn’t understand, she dismissed the idea, taking it as another factor of my odd behavior. The dolphin nudged my hand quickly and rolled over, and I saw her bright pink underside with matching swollen pussy lips and clit. Not again, girl, please.
“I said I don’t, Angie.” I said, a bit firmer, “Please don’t make this any harder. I don’t feel right talking to you this way.”
She ignored me and nudged my hand again.
“Angie, are you listening?”
She arched her back, clearly showing she was ready for me to begin.
“Angie, come on, I don’t want to-”
She cut me off with a few clicks.
“Please, Angie, listen to me. I can’t have that relationship with you. Not yet, at least.”
This sounds like I was pleading, but I was more ordering, my patience running low.
She let out a squeak, coaxing me.
“Angie,” I said firmly. My anger was bubbling in my blood, and I was losing my control.
She nudged my hand once again. That sent me over.
“ANGIE!” I exploded.
She flipped over and stared at me. It wasn’t my nature to be angry like that. Instead of calming down, I let my entire stress jump out at her.
“I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS WITH YOU! IT ISNT EVEN RIGHT FOR ME TO BE AROUND YOU IF YOU’RE JUST GOING TO IGNORE WHAT I SAY AND TRY TO USE ME FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL LUST!”
Angie backed away, eyes wide. I wasn’t done yet.
“NOW, AM I GOING TO HAVE TO SAY THAT AGAIN, OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO BEAT IT INTO YOU, YOU STUPID FISH!?!”
I rose up my hand as if ready to hit, and Angie ‘flinched‘. My eyes were wide in shock, surprised at my outburst. I looked up at my raised arm, and down at Angie, who was staring back at me with big, black, hurt eyes. She let out a frightened squeal and backed up more.
Still slightly angry, with Angie and myself, I lowered my hand. I spoke to the poor dolphin as calmly as I could, with a tint of anger and firmness still in my voice.
“Angie…”
She let out another frightened squeal and turned. My rage quickly turned into desperation and remorse.
“Angie!” I cried after her. Her dark figure sunk below the waves and out of sight. I reached out my hand, as if trying to coax her back.
“Angie! Come back! I’m sorry, girl! Please! Come back!”
But Angie was gone, now just a dark figure in the ocean.
I sat back and curled into a ball on the rocks.
I didn’t cry, though I thought I should have. I hated myself more than ever. It wasn’t Angie’s fault; she was just going by instinct. It was my entire fault, for not understanding her ways, and for losing my temper and ready to harm her.
But I would never have hurt Angie! I loved her more than the island itself! How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking? These thoughts raced through my head as I sobbed dryly. The cool sea breeze rustled my dark brown hair again, but I ignored it.
I looked up and saw that the pod of dolphins had also left. Now it was just an empty ocean and me. Without Angie.
I got to my feet and turned away from the water. Slowly, I moved back toward my house. The employees would expect to see me in an hour, but I decided to let them wait.
Angie, sad and hurt, was somewhere in the ocean right now. I wanted to be far away from it.
